Ayupmes

Duck luring is an ancient art - and it takes time and patience.

Firstly dig a pond 


Then fill with water - this works a treat - the next morning after completing filling the ducks will tease you with an immediate appearence.

Next wait for a year or so before doing anything else - and I mean anything - then have flurry of activity two years later.  Redesign pond area but leave central pond in place.  Finish edging the pond - and yes I do mean hide the flipping brown liner.  Commence planting up and creating new borders around the pond and add the obligatory grassy knoll.

Then, when you least expect it, three years after all this began, come home one night to find three ayupmes on the pond.  (I know the picture shows only two, but Ms Duck is a little shy)
and in conclusion, after getting pond owner incredibly excited by making an appearence, don't be there in the morning and don't be there when she gets home from work, but turn up at about 5.30pm meaning that tomorrow will be an anxious wait to see if they turn up again.

and - lets not forget a twinge of paranoia - will the ducks eat my plants or damage the pond liner?  In which case I might need the cats to try and look a little threatening rather than their current stance of pretending they can't see them as they have large beaks!

(note:  for those of you not from the East Midlands - it is tradition to greet friends and family with 'ay up me duck' it is delightfully gender neutral, friendly and a signal that you are home).