Wednesday, 14 August 2013

The cheeky weed

Its that time of year, the time of the cheeky weed.  You must know what I am talking about?  You have spent the day weeding, you have been on your hands and knees and carefully removed, one by one, every weed in the border.  Not only every weed, but every glimmer of weed that might have thought it might want to be a weed.  In fact, you have also probably removed a few seedlings/small plants that you didn't even mean to or want to but your hands have gone into weeding mode and pulled them up before you could stop them.  You have weeded well and you know you have done a good job.
 
So you go for a mug of tea, you stop for a rest, you decide that you have done for the day and take a last walk around the garden to admire your handy work and enjoy the golden evening light....
and there it is, waving at you, shouting coooeee, the cheeky weed.  Cheeky weeds are remarkably polite and never shout Oi, that would be too in your face, no they shout cooee in a sort of benign aunty way, a bit like they are just waving hello as you pass on the other side of the road.  They want to attract your attention that they are there, but in a friendly you might want to see them sort of way.  They sound a bit like they might be Weed from Bill and Ben, that was a lovely weed, it sang and danced and protected Bill and Ben.  With such a cheery cheeky saluation how could this be a pernicious weed?
This unfortunately shows that these weeds have a mis-placed sense of self.  They fail to understand that actually they are not welcome, in fact had we have known they were there they would probably be on the compost heap by now.  Yes, weedicide would have taken place, yet they have the gall to stand there, often getting on for 18 inches high, wafting about in the middle of border where you know you weeded particularly carefully, proud as punch!
So, you have choices, you can sigh, shrug your shoulders and take a large slurp of tea and move on, or, sigh, put your mug on the ground, launch yourself into the border to tackle the offending cheeky weed and when you step back clutching it in your hand kick your mug over so there is no tea left.
For that is the revenge of the cheeky weed, it knows you will feel compelled to remove it but it will remove your tea to restore balance to the universe....... curse them.

(I am of course aware that not all the photographs are of weeds, I refuse to build their sense of self-importance by showing too many).

5 comments :

  1. Funny post Alison! Those pesky weeds are very naughty indeed, distracting gardeners away from their nice cups of tea!

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  2. I have quite a few of those blighters! You always make me laugh, Alison.

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  3. Unfortunately we all have them don't we! We might not win that little battle, but in the end, we do win the war!!

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  4. Very wise, not giving them too much camera time. It will only encourage them. As if they need any encouragement...

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