Sunday, 16 September 2012

Are ants daleks?

I would say I have two obsessions in my life, gardening and Doctor Who, but that would missing out all the other obsessions, but for the purposes of this post they are the two I am focussing on today.

I spend a lot of time in the garden and this year in particular I have spent a lot of time in the garden being bitten by ants.  I have also spent a fair amount of time removing marauding ants from my kitchen and even my bathroom.  Ants are not making me happy and yet in principle I have no issues with them.  I am happy for them to do their thing and for me to do mine - so why do they keep attacking me?  I have tried to have this discussion with ants, but they are not good listeners.  Rather than listening they just swarm up me yet again biting as they go.  My vegetable beds are particularly loved by red ants.  Every time I start weeding suddenly they are attaching me again.  So I wonder why they are so unreasonable, is it because really they are daleks!
Oh you may laugh and walk away, but let us investigate further the similarities between daleks and ants:

daleks - hard on the outside, softer inside
ants - hard on the outside, softer inside - a match

daleks - many colours
ants - black and red - near enough a match

daleks - hate everyone and want to exterminate them
ants - the way they keep biting me I am sure they want to exterminate me and I cannot say I have ever seen an ant loving anything - a match

daleks - invade anywhere they find
ants - at any opportunity swarm where-ever they can - including trouser legs - a match

daleks - will use native species as slave labour
ants - maintain greenfly farms and milk them - match

When attacked by a dalek, you can tell it hurts, even from the very early days of television special effects, it was clear that their weapons, whilst similar to a plunger and an egg whisk, could cause great pain.  I can assure you multiple ant bits also flipping hurt.  Also ants have a great talent for getting into your clothes and wandering quite a distance before they start biting, ants are sneaky and mean.

I am pretty sure if an ant could talk it would sound like a dalek too.

Does this mean I try and kills ants, well no, as said before I have no real issue with them when they are in the garden and I am happy to just work around them.  I do not intentionally do things to annoy them but they do get disturbed as I am weeding.  Apparently an apology is not sufficient!

In conclusion - ants are daleks.

9 comments :

  1. I'm still laughing, although I realize it's not funny when ants bite. I try to 'live and let live', but cannot tolerate them in the house. I haven't watched Dr. Who for 50 years or so -- I wonder how much the show has changed?

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    1. Dr Who has probably changed in some ways but not in others, they do keep to the history well. Thanks for the comments, glad you liked it.

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  2. Yes. Yes they are. But ants are easier to squash.

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  3. Ah BUT ants can get up stairs!

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  4. So can daleks now - they fly ! :)

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  5. Hmmm I am thinking that your obsessions are colliding.
    There have been a lot of ants this year but luckily I havent had any in the house. One of my previous houses seemed to be on a housing estate which was built on a large ants nest as all you saw in the summer was lines of ant powder outside front doors!

    By the way darleks arent real you know!

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    1. I can assure you daleks are real - I have watched them on tv for more years than I can remember :)

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  6. ants maintain greenfly farms, now that is just spooky. As for Dr Who, it used to be very special with Christopher Eccleston and then David Tennant. Now Matt Smith has to do his best with which is now very poor script writing.

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